biggest dilemma

[Shadow]

Hey everyone. Things have come up and I'm really stuck and don't know what to do. I was hoping I could get some input, advice or whatever you wish to call it.

So here's the deal.
1) I'm in NC and the one I love is in TN. We've been together for almost a year (June 11) and haven't seen each other since July of last year. Yes I love her to death. When I say I'd give my life for her I mean it
2) Everyone around me is bugging me out about going to college and not wasting my smarts and all this other crap that I'm tired of hearing. And I just don't want to go.
3) My love lives with just her mom, who's really bad off and will pass away within the next ten years or so if she doesn't have a surgery. Me being the person I am, and the way her mom cares for me, I have to help somehow.
4) I'm a bit closer to my family than most teens. Yeah we fuss a lot, but I'm still close. Grandparents too.

Me and my mom had this really long talk today about what I wanted to do. For once she listens to what I have to say! I told her all but one thing, being that one of the reasons I'm going is to be with my babygirl. My mom knows about the situation with her mom. And I told her that I will go to college or night school, depending on the situation. Long story short it tore her up and she's been depressed ever since. I know, neither of us can hold on forever. Listening to my heart isn't working. So I figured I'd let it out. Please don't take this as a joke or anything. I trust all of you and listen more than you think.

If you have any words of advice, even if it sounds stupid to you, please let me know. Thank you for listening.

[Laurasia]

Hi Stitch.

~hugs~

I know how difficult this has all been on you sweety. So your mother doesn't realize that the main reason for your wanting to go to TN is because of your relationship, that's fine. Some parents simply cannot handle the truth regarding their children's preferences. So, in a way the situation with her mother may be a blessing. (I certainly hope that you realize I do not mean that in a callous way at all, even though it may sound callous over the computer screen.)

I do agree with her that you shouldn't give up on your academic career though. However taking a needed year off to get a job & yourself settled can be a wonderful thing as well. Just so long as you do go back.

All in all, I think that a lot of what is happening is the good old "empty nest syndrome" for your mother. Even though you are not her only child, mother's tend to get it over each. While, yes, it will upset her for a while to think that you will be out on your own & "won't need her anymore" that discomfort will be tempered after she sees you becoming an independent adult.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Shadow]

I know you don't mean it that way Laurasia, it's fine.

[Brandybuck]

I could not have said it any better Laurasia.

I would offer you the same advice stitch. I hope everything works out for you. *hugs*