Oddly Happy

[Laurasia]

Hi everyone.

Well, I don't know what it is but I have found myself strangely unangered by something recently that normally would have sent me through the roof. Perhaps it's all of those Buddhist teachings from Brandybuck & Artanaro.

Anyway...last night the computer monitor shorted out & died. Normally if the computer has so much as a "hiccup" it irritates me to the point of cussing, hitting the table, etc. So, one would figure, that actually having one of the main components of the computer die would have made me kill the other main components.

My reaction was quite different though. I can honestly say that I didn't even get annoyed. I have no idea why. It's almost as though I didn't even think about it. We had to buy a new one, that's all there was to it & I had no problem with it.

I was thinking that today my irritation would kick in, when we were actually spending a good chunk of money on it. But it didn't. I still wasn't even irritated. This is really a strange sensation to me. I'm used to being irritated at least by such things. But...nothing. I'm actually elated with our new monitor, even though it was a bit more expensive than we were originally going to go!

I know that this may sound rather...odd for people who aren't used to such radical mood shifts. Those of you who don't have such mood swings are probably thinking "Okay, so you reacted in a reasonable way. What's the big deal?"

The big deal is that I just don't do that! I don't usually react in a reasonable way in these types of situations & here I am being completely reasonable! LOL! I'm actually very proud at the way that I've handled this. Though I have no idea how I've done it. ;D

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Shadow]

Hello Laurasia. Maybe it's the weather!

[Brandybuck]

Laurasia,

I am very proud of you dear! I think that part of it is the fact that it is something that could not be prevented, whereas little irritations are usually caused by someone's incompetence. I am pleases that you think that it could have been partially inspired by what myself and artanaro have been teaching you. The reason I say this is because if it is even partially true, then that means that I am practicing the morals in my life in a correct way. What I mean is is that I see you literally every day Laurasia, and I have noticed a significant change in the way you handle your anger. You have been much more controlling of it recently then you may have even noticed. You still get irritated but who doesn't? Look at me the other day at work. I was very embarrassed and disappointed in myself for reacting with such irritable hostility over the rooms. I ended up spewing it out on others and I felt so badly afterwards that I almost cried..which led to more irritation for realizing what I was doing to myself. See, even I mess up, the "buddha" as you so lovingly call me.

[Laurasia]

Hi Brandybuck.

Thank you. I'm touched by what you have said. You are right that I have more control over myself than I used to (pretty scary eh? ), but my problem is that when I do get angry, BOY do I get angry. I just figured that something this...big...would have surely sent me into the stratosphere.

I have to say that you handled yourself very well through this as well. Maybe Stitch is right & it is something to do with the weather.

You have come quite a long way in dealing with your anxiety/irritation & I am very proud of you for that. You used to worry enough for the entire family. LOL!

Thank you though for your supportive words, "Buddha".

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[twilight]

Congratulations Laurasia! I have also been trying to keep my irritation under control. You seem to have found a way, even if you do not know what it is yet. Maybe it is the Buddhist teachings; Brandybuck, your post about the Buddha really inspired me, too.
I also found myself much more able to control my phobias when I was in the habbit of meditating regularly and trying to keep that calm, centered feeling with me all day. Maybe it is the same with anger. Unfortunately for me, I have fallen out of the habbit.
Once again, congrats. You should be proud!

~Aelish

[Brandybuck]

Laurasia,

You have come quite a long way in dealing with your anxiety/irritation & I am very proud of you for that. You used to worry enough for the entire family. LOL!

Thank you though for your supportive words, "Buddha".

Thank you..you have no idea what that means to me. For others to see how far I have come is really a boost to my self-esteem. It makes all of the work that I have done well worth it. I also feel much healthier in body, mind, and spirit.

Aelish,

Brandybuck, your post about the Buddha really inspired me, too.

I am so glad that I could help you dear. I will keep posting information in the thread as I find the time. I am also trying to find things in "laymens terms" so that they are easily relayed to everyone. I have a lot of advanced meditation books, and some of the language I still do not understand. If I can ever help you with anything feel free to pm me Aelish.

[Laurasia]

Hi Aelish.

Thank you, I'm proud of me too. As far as meditating goes...I've never really been able to do it through "traditional" means. You see I can sleep anytime. Just lay me down, undisturbed, for a few minutes & I'm sawing logs. So for me to stay with me eyes closed for "become still" is virtually impossible without me falling asleep. I have been able to meditate successfully while floating in water, but I don't have many opportunities to do that.

Sincerely,
Laurasia