A Journey of Self-Esteem

[Brandybuck]

~A Journey of Self-Esteem~

Once upon a time there was a young girl who did not love herself.
She cared greatly about what others said and thought of her.
Much of what was said or thought about her was never brought to her personal attention.
They were secret assumptions, and the gossip of others is where she would learn these things.
It soon became clear that she could trust no one.
Those she had held dear as close companions were revealed to be the biggest conspirators.
For conspirators is indeed what they were.
Why else would they befriend her, spend so much of their own lives with her, only to reveal to others that it is not the girl that they are fond of at all?
It is her money that attracts them, as well as her generous and caring heart.
They love the things that she does for them..providing handy cash whether out shopping, or pleading conversations by phone that there has been a disaster in their lives, and it is a matter of life and death that they get it.
So of course the girl provides the necessary means.
She feels a good sense of accomplishment at her generous actions.
"I am a true friend", she often thought.
However, the girl did not see these vultures for what they were.
For vultures is what they truly are--they pick at whatever form of life is left in their prey.
They fed on the girl's generosity, knowing of the elation that it provided her.
They stole her energy, deflated her ego, and thereby making her lose all the love that she felt for herself.
But one day, the girl comes to her senses.
She realizes that her misery is coming from the very people she set out to help.
She sees that they are not really friends at all, but parasites who feed on her very soul.
So she stops giving them money..stops being used by them.
Eventually, the vultures give up and move on.
Alas, the girl is now left by herself with no one.
However, in her solitude she begins to heal.
Her heart once again opens to all that is beautiful...including her reflection in the mirror.
Soon a whole different group of people notice her.
Better people who are not vultures.
They see the Light that the girl gives forth, and they are drawn to her for more positive reasons.
Soon, the girl has a close circle of true friends.
She wakes up in the morning and smiles, looking forward to the day ahead.
The girl now loves herself, and she knows that she will never go back.

[Laurasia]

Beautiful! I love it. I only wonder where it came from. ~hugs~

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[Brandybuck]

A lot of it is based on how I used to let people treat me when I was younger. I would let people use me, just so that I could say that I was liked. But I soon realized that I began to hate myself for the way that I was letting myself get treated. Then I met the right people *hint*, and I began to heal on my own. Now I have embraced a whole new set of morals to live by, and it has changed my life immensely. So, it is autobiographical journey of my emotional state.

[twilight]

This is really nice, I like how it had a happy ending! It reminds me of me too actually. Although, I have to admit I was a little less benign, there were times when I "got people back" for using me. I know revenge is usually good to stay away from, so I try to stay away from that now. The good thing is, since I don't allow people to walk all over me now, I don't really have anything to get revenge for!

~Aelish~

[Brandybuck]

The good thing is, since I don't allow people to walk all over me now, I don't really have anything to get revenge for!

Well that is good news. I have noticed from what we have already talked about that we have a lot in common aelish. You are right though...I realized when I was letting people step all over me that I needed a change. That change was crucial to my survival. I feel that I got the greatest revenge by becoming a better person and lnot living my life in fear of what will come tomorrow. A lot of what happened in my past is the reason why I have an issue with anxiety now. Buddhism has helped me a great deal, as well as the other paths that I follow. My eyes have been opened to the beauty of life, instead of only the darkness. I feel that in this point in my life, I am as balanced as I have ever been. I still have a few things to work on, but I am not striving for perfection. Everyone needs flaws to balance out their merits.

I am glad that you enjoyed my writing. thank you