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Post by Brandybuck on Oct 18, 2005 22:34:37 GMT -5
Laurasia, I receive waking recollections also, as you well know, having witnessed some yourself. These always are the most painful for me, so I must say that I prefer the ones in dreams. Artanaro, Yes, thank you very much for sharing! I feel honored that you have shared all of these memories with us..I know that they had to be very painful to remember. I know from my past life, that I was also in the Third Age, so for me, hearing about how far back you lived is very interesting.
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 20, 2005 22:58:35 GMT -5
Hi guys.
Certain topics on the boards are making me incapable of staying vague regarding whom my past-life in Gondor was, so I may as well just say it & deal with whatever reaction I get (if any). My past-life in Gondor was that of Faramir.
I'm still rather reluctant to talk about details, as the various emotions involved in remembering this life are rather chaotic & all over the place. The first recollection that I recieved of my life as Faramir was being berated by my father, Denethor. So I'm sure that you can all imagine that emotional roller-coaster that I have found myself on.
Oddly enough, this realization has thrown much of my current life & the things that I have gone through into stark perspective. I feel that I am more like Faramir in this life than I am compared to any of my other past-lives. Even down to the inter-family relationships, personal views, etc.
One of the oddest things about realizing all of this was the very fact that it is Faramir. There was no doubt about whom the memory of Denethor's rage was focused on though. My first thought was "Faramir?! How could it be Faramir, Boromir is my absolute most favorite person in all of Middle-Earth?!" Immediately an inner thought answered me with "Of course Boromir is your favorite...he always was." All I could do was cry. It was so true. And that revelation immediately connected all of the other past-lives that I have recalled to the lifetime as Faramir.
So there it is. I've said it "aloud" on the forums. ~sighs~ You may now all give me "the look" if you want to. Perhaps I will share more now that I've come right out & said it. Right now I can't though. Just please guys, don't start acting all funny on me. I am open-minded with everyone, I only ask the same in return.
Sincerely, Laurasia
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Post by Brandybuck on Oct 21, 2005 19:55:02 GMT -5
Laurasia, I have known about this of course, because you have shared it with me. I find it very brave of you to post it here, and I commend you for it. However, I feel that I may never be able to conjure the same bravery. The things that you know about my past life during this time< I feel, can only remain known to you. I feel that it would be very hard to comprehend, and if I were in someone elses shoes reading what it is I would post, I might not believe me either. You, however, know the heartache that I felt when I came to the realization. I do not mean heartache as in sadness or disappointment at who I was...far from it. Just knowing what I went through, and endured so long ago. I apologize for not having the guts to post it here, but for the reasons mentioned above..I cannot. If anyone on here berates you, then that is there belief, and I can pray that they keep it civil. From other personal things that you have shared with me, the readings that we have done together, combined with all of the things that fell into place for the both of us, I know that what you speak is the truth. Not only because you said it (which I would believe anyway.), but because other circumstances led me to the same conclusion. Once again, I love you even more for coming forward..something I do not think I can ever do.
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Post by Lomelindo on Oct 21, 2005 23:10:19 GMT -5
I know why you were reluctant...well at least part of it...perhaps it was the fact that it was someone "famous " so to speak ....That is a common critique against past life memory recall.....I have that same fear of judgement when I tell people I am the reincarnation of Ereinion Gil Galad (Ive posted some flashes of those memories in a previous post) and that I knew Aldarion and Elendil ...People think i'm completely insane. But no matter what those people say, at the end of the day, those memories remain and affect me for good or for ill. I think we remember these things for a reason, perhaps to learn something to take a part of a song sung in the past and re-sing it in a different context and place adding to its original beauty.. "Then Iluvatar spoke, and he said : 'Mighty are the Ainur, and mightiest among them is Melkor; but that he may know, and all the Ainur(and all Eruhini), that I am Iluvatar, those things that ye have sung and played, lo! I will show them forth, that ye may see what ye have done. And thou Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that has not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall be but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined." (Ainulindale, from Morgoths Ring)
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Post by Brandybuck on Oct 22, 2005 18:10:38 GMT -5
Artanaro,
First of all I would like to say thank you for understanding that it took a lot for Laurasia to post this. She even asked me as to whether she should, and I told her to follow whatever she thought was right. I knew that you would believe her, and not resort to criticism.
You really touched me when I read these words because of my hesitation to post here on the site what it is that I know of my past life (from the same era). I have not moved on this because I still believe that it would be hard for many people to comprehend. However, I believe that I could tell you and you would not think that it was a attempt at glorifying myself or outright lying. But to post what I know on the open boards, I know would invite sarcasm of some sort from people eventually. That is why your words touched me so deeply..I do indeed know in my heart, and I feel the memories as if they were yesterday.
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 22, 2005 20:08:11 GMT -5
Hello Artanaro. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for not accusing me of trying to "glorify" myself. Besides if I were to do that I'd have chosen someone with happier memories like...Arwen. It's funny that you mention your past-life was, in fact, that of Gil-Galad. That is precisely who you have reminded me of. I'm not sure why we remember these things either. Though I have to say that this recall has been the best for me in a in comparison to all of the others that I have recalled. It's strange because the memories of Faramir's life are very painful, yet they are also so relevant. In many ways, more than I can mention here, they mirror my own memories in vivid detail. And even though that is all rather hard & painful to deal with, it's also somewhat...comforting. Healing. It's as though my experiences from then help me to understand what is happening/has happened in this life & my experiences from this life help me to understand why things happened in that life. Is it troubling? Yes. Is it unbearable? No. In both this life & many of my others, I have survived much worse. And yes, though I didn't think about it until you put it up, that quote is very appropriate. Sincerely, Laurasia
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Post by Lomelindo on Oct 22, 2005 20:39:50 GMT -5
There is definitely much work to be done I think... Perhaps that is why we are remembering these things at a time when the survival of all that lives on this planet is threatened. To Laurasia and Brandybuck : your welcome, and Im glad i could help you guys ...I think it feels alot better to share it with people than to hold it in... Its like opening a door which you can step through to begin the healing of ourselves and the healing of Arda. I think the LOTR movies acted as a catalyst for the retrieval of memories needed for our own transformation as well as for the transformation of our world.....
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Post by Brandybuck on Oct 23, 2005 17:42:23 GMT -5
Artanaro, Thoughts like these just prove my point about you. One of the things that I fear the most about adding my past life to that of yours and Laurasia's is that I would get ridiculed by some that I am "infatuated" with the movies and the actors who portrayed them. Being accused of that would hurt me so deeply that I would not know who to trust anymore with certain things. But you, like me, realize that the movies only REINFORCED memories that already existed, but not truly conscious yet. That is why if I were to confide in anyone here, (besides Laurasia who already knows), then it would be you. By the way, as Laurasia stated above, you remind me of Gil-galad as well. Funny how things come together, isn't it?
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 23, 2005 18:09:09 GMT -5
Hi Artanaro. I have to agree with your comments regarding what may have caused these memories to surface now. I have grown mentally & spiritually in enormous ways in the past few years. I have come to know myself much better & this realization has only enhanced that growth by spades. Sincerely, Laurasia
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Post by Lomelindo on Oct 23, 2005 23:06:25 GMT -5
Brandybuck, If you are willing to share, I will listen. I am not here to judge you or to invalidate you... Feel free to post your stuff here or email me if you wish... Laurasia, I have grown immensely as well in the past few years since the memories started flooding my psyche (or since I realized the meaning of some of the memories that came up in my mind, which I at that time quickly attributed to an overactive imagination), It was the realization of who I was and where i came from that gave me the strength to get off the methadone program I was on.... I am starting to work on recognizing patterns within my past lives that I have yet to resolve completely (pride and grasping at permanence seem to be two of the recurring themes, which buddhism helps me to address) It definitely helps us to become more whole (using the memories to heal ourselves so we can heal others that is) Namarie
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Post by Brandybuck on Oct 24, 2005 16:40:16 GMT -5
Artanaro, Thank you for offering to listen to me without judgement. I will, indeed, send you a PM on the matter...I just do not feel comfortable posting on the open boards.
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 24, 2005 19:10:09 GMT -5
Hi Artanaro. I definately agree with you about the healing part.. I have also been able to recognize patterns within my incarnations. Being a fighter is the main one (be it as a soldier or in a more personal way), a longing to be something that I am not meant to be, a tendency to have to either deaden my emotions or set them aside due to the actions of others, & a tendency to be subject to abuse (And, no, this is not a manifestation of a "victim personality" as some therapists would suggest. It is a fact within most of my incarnations.) just to name a few. Some of these things get twisted in horrible ways & I am trying to work on that fact. Needless to say there are reprecussions to many of them that I work very hard to deal with, though it is not always easy. I must say that these memories have shed a new light on many of my other incarnations. Especially the entire "soldier aspect". You see, as Faramir, I was always striving to be my older brother Boromir. I wished that I could approach fighting & killing with same detatchment that he was able to, yet I was never able to do that. That distressed me to a great degree. It wreaked havoc on my self-image & having my father, Denethor, further pound the knowledge of that failure into my head only made matters worse. I'm not sure what everyone's thoughts are on the process/reasons that we are reincarnated, but I think part of the reason is to experience varying extremes. I can tell you that the next life that I remember, after Faramir, is that of the Greek soldier (I have a thread about this Greek incarnation which can be found here). In that incarnation I was very different from Faramir & very much like Boromir. I enjoyed fighting. It was a fact of life. You fought & won or you died. That was the way it was, it was that simple. There was no remorse over defeating a foe, it was their time. And that pattern followed for quite some time. From what I can recall, it has only been within my recent incarnations (the past two I believe) that this pattern was broken. (I say that I "believe" because I could always recall other incarnations later. ) As I have mentioned before, this incarnation seems to be the closest I have come to "getting back to Faramir". I am still very much a fighter, though not in the "soldier/military" respect. It is a more personal/spiritual manner now, much like Faramir would have preferred for his own life. Oh wow, I'm rambling now. Sorry about that. I guess I'm just truly ready to start talking about all & have a lot to say. LOL! I'll stop for now. Sincerely, Laurasia
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Post by Lomelindo on Oct 24, 2005 21:57:34 GMT -5
Dont be sorry, let it out, talk about it This is your Truth, speak your Truth....You are very much a spiritual warrior now, but I think that we need to experience the extremes you spoke of....all duality is relative....how can you know the Light when you dont know the Darkness? No matter how you try the Darkness always gets in because that is the way things are, in this dual world..You can try to build up empires of Light within yourself but there will always be something that will destroy it....kind of like the valar trying to create the unstained Arda but no matter how hard they tried they could not escape from darkness....I think the Yin/Yang model illustrates all this very well... (thats quite enough of philosophical rambling for now ) My role has also shifted from a physical warrior leader into a more spiritual warrior leader theme.. I have had many incarnations as a shaman figure in many cultures (so far Norway, Ireland, and Native American ) People tend to come to me when they are troubled for help...I dont uphold any kind of leader or shamanistic image in my daily life but somehow people somehow always know...I have tried to be quiet , to not pay attention to people, but they still sought me out..... the other day a wiccan lady came up to me for help with someone barraging her with negative energy and I ended up calling upon Elbereth to protect her.... A common thread runs through many lives Namarie
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Post by Brandybuck on Oct 25, 2005 19:20:51 GMT -5
Since I have discovered my Middle-earth past life in the Third Age, I have also come to see a lot of similarities throughout samsara. I have always had a fierce protectiveness of all that I love (be it friends, family, objects, even peace and quiet). And I find if that is somehow threatened, I can become very hostile towars the intrusion..not violent..more like a hostile withdrawal. I try to avoid ever coming into contact with that negativity again. Which brings me to the next trait that I have carried with me..I try to avoid confrontation at ALL possible costs. Of course, if I am cornered I will fight (I have done so in the past)..but I would prefer peaceful negotiations without bloodshed. I cannot stand seeing War anywhere, unless it is an absolute necessity for survival, not power. It actually sickens me to see a War fought for power.
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Post by Laurasia on Oct 26, 2005 20:45:06 GMT -5
Hi guys.
Well, I've been trying to do more meditations & I just keep getting overcome with emotions. I'm afraid that this post will most likely be quite a bit of rambling, but that is how I am receiving things...in a ramble.
The emotions tonight have been very painful & grief-soaked. Needless to say I've been recalling my brother, Boromir. I miss him so terribly. It's almost as though he has died recently in this life, not in Middle-Earth. That feeling od grief ends up exaggerated as I mourn for the fact that I do not have "him" in this life it seems. "He" isn't here to protect me, share with me, bond with me. Yet, even without him here to be compared to, I'm still not good enough. I'm still talked down to, told that I'm nothing & worthless. Even when compared to nothing. ~sigh~ I just miss him so terribly that I feel sick.
Which brings me to the next string of thoughts. I need to forgive. I need to forgive my family (seems that Denethor has stuck with me), but I'm unable to. I no longer live near them & that has helped me grow in spades. It would have helped Faramir as well, but I suppose this is an example of why we re-incarnate...to learn from our past mistakes. Well, I learned that lesson. They are not near me anymore. We only talk via the phone & they have only come to visit for a few days on two occasions in the past 4 years. And what would forgiving them mean? Would it be real? Or would I simply be...accepting, dismissing, glossing-over what they have done in order to get that feeling of acceptance that I so crave. For whenever I think that I may have "forgiven" them an ill, the pain, anger, & shame still seem to be there down the road. Maybe I am simply fooling myself in order to gain those few moments of pseudo-acceptance from them. ~sigh~
Also, an odd realization has come to me regarding at least some of my past-lives. I am an Energy/Psi vampire, & I seem to be recognizing that trait within my past incarnations as well. The thought really hit me when working on my past-life in Ancient Greece. In that life I was definately an Energy/Psi vampire. My method of feeding was vastly different, but I fed deeply & often. I am starting to recognize the trait in Faramir as well I think. His need of acceptance, his sensitivity, the depth of his pain, sorrow & despair when he was no longer able to feed properly. That part actually needs a bit of clarification. You see I think that Faramir, like myself, was unable to feed from negative emotions. Therefore there were certain people that he kept close in order to gain the types of energy/emotions that he needed, namely Boromir & a few others that ended up being killed. Anyway, once they were gone & his energy reserves were depleted he deteriorated rapidly. Eventually contracting the Black Breath which nearly killed him. Then entered Aragorn, whom I believe may have become his next "donor".
Sorry that this is all so random guys, but that is how it has been coming. I'm having more & more memories of Aragorn, which is slightly frustrating. I've been trying to remember back before the Battle of the Pellenor Fields & I keep remembering after it. Oh well it could be worse, I could stop remembering all together. ~shudders~
Sincerely, Laurasia
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