The Silence of the Tear Drops

[~Theodora~]

This is actually my first attempt to write a poem although I want this to be a song. So, it would be really nice if u corrected me or something, so that I'll know if its any good.

~The Silence of the Tear Drops

He stands just there
She's not looking
why the he** does she ignore him?
Should he stay, or fly away?

He isn't like he used to be.
The tears are all from pain.
The sadness is now gone,
replaced by wain.

So why does he have to remember?
Pointless things that came to be.
The dreams when he was awake
the shape of her soul.

Did she have to go this way?
Destroy what once was saint?
The promises that got away,
the silence of the tear drops...


He doesn't feel, it doesn't hurt.
He isn't sad nor happy.
The emotions got away,
the feeling of nothingness came alive.

His soul is empty,
served as pain.
The gates are closed
so who is there?


He gave away,
took nothing in return
and still his faith is there.
But does he know,
its just a thought?
No more of that,
so here it goes,
it's closed.

(I edited it a bit)

[Brandybuck]

That was really good for a first attempt sweetie! You are surely better than I was with a first try.

I like it..it shows a relationship that was once so full of promise crumbling. I like how you showed the lack of communication, and the inner struggles of both people. Nicely written.

[Laurasia]

Hi Theodora.

I have to agree with Brandybuck, hon. That was very good for a first attempt. ;D I wouldn't even know where to start with such things.

Sincerely,
Laurasia

[~Theodora~]

Thanx u guys! U dont know how much this means to me ;D

[Shadow]

I'll third that saying... great job on your first attempt.

[miezekatze]

I like it! No, love it! you should keep writing...i'd love to see more of your work on here! :-)